By Jamie Crossan
The Department of Homeland Security has a new website, www.ready.gov, with all the latest official signs to be used in case of a terrorist attack. As a public service, The Wittenburg Door is publishing the signs along with a translation of what each sign is instructing us to do.
Here are some of my favs:
If you are sprayed with an unknown substance, stand and think about a cool design for a new tattoo.
If you spot terrorism, blow your anti-terrorism whistle. If you are Vin Diesel, yell really loud.
If you have set yourself on fire, do not run.
If you spot a terrorist arrow, pin it against the wall with your shoulder.
We always thought there was something wrong with Texans.
Use your flashlight to lift the walls right off of you!