Found this on the Wittenburg Door’s site. I can add it to the list of my kind of Jesus along with Jesus the vampire hunter and Jesus the jedi master. I’m still on the look out for a velvet painting of a black Jesus. I, so, want to hang that in my house.
Boreded Ceiling Cat makinkgz Urf n stuffs
1 Oh hai. In teh beginnin Ceiling Cat maded teh skiez An da Urfs, but he did not eated dem. . . .
27 So Ceiling Cat createded teh peeps taht waz like him, can has can openers he maed tehm, min An womin wuz maeded, but he did not eated tehm.
28 An Ceiling Cat sed them O hai maek bebehs kthx, An p0wn teh waterz, no waterz An teh firmmint, An evry stufs.
31 An Ceiling Cat sayed, Beholdt, teh good enouf for releaze as version 0.8a. kthxbai.
By Jamie Crossan
The Department of Homeland Security has a new website, www.ready.gov, with all the latest official signs to be used in case of a terrorist attack. As a public service, The Wittenburg Door is publishing the signs along with a translation of what each sign is instructing us to do.
Here are some of my favs:
If you are sprayed with an unknown substance, stand and think about a cool design for a new tattoo.
If you spot terrorism, blow your anti-terrorism whistle. If you are Vin Diesel, yell really loud.
If you have set yourself on fire, do not run.
If you spot a terrorist arrow, pin it against the wall with your shoulder.
We always thought there was something wrong with Texans.
Use your flashlight to lift the walls right off of you!
YEO: “Knock, knock.”
Me: “Who’s there?”
Me: “Banana who?”
YEO: “Banana I didn’t know there was hair on my butt.”
Admittedly, I laughed out loud. I was ready for a knock-knock joke that was meaningless and quite unfunny. I was ready to dole out the ‘courtesy laugh’ that I have done so many times before in response to my daughters knock-knock jokes. But this one was special. What more could you ask for? Butt, hair and banana all wrapped up in the punchline. Classic.
Well played, YEO, well played.